Main Rounds > Christmas Quiz > Christmas Jokes

Christmas Cracker Jokes

Visit the main Christmas Quiz page.

Christmas cracker jokes - add some fun to your quizzes!

Silly cracker jokes are part of Christmas - add a couple to your fun Christmas quiz. They're typical cracker jokes, so yes, they are dreadfully unfunny!

  1. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A christmas quacker!
  2. Why did Joseph and Mary not join their video conference? Because there was no zoom at the inn.
  3. Why is it best to think of 2020 like a pantomime? Because, it’s behind you. Thank heavens!
  4. Where do unfit elves go after Christmas? To an Elf Farm.
  5. Where do sheep go for a haircut? To a Baa Baa shop!
  6. Why didn't the skeleton go to the Christmas party? Because he had no-body to go with.
  7. What comes in different sizes but is always only one foot long? A shoe!
  8. Why was the turkey asked to join the band? Because it had drumsticks.
  9. Which of Santa's reindeers has the worst manners? Rude-olph.
  1. What did the man get for stealing an advent calendar? He got 25 days.
  2. How will Christmas dinner be better after Brexit? No Brussels.
  3. What is in the middle of nowhere? The letter 'h'.
  4. What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot? Get out of my face.
  5. What did Adam say the night before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve.
  6. What does Tarzan sing at Christmas time? Jungle Bells.
  7. What shoes can you make from banana skins? Slippers.
  8. Where do fish keep their money? At the riverbank.
  9. Why did the mushroom get invited to the Christmas Party? Because he was a fun-gi.
  10. Which of Santa's reindeer's was obnoxious? Rude-olph.
  11. Why did the pony need to gargle? Because it was a little horse.
  12. What type of key do you need for a Nativity play? A don-key!
  13. Why did the orange take a nut to the Christmas Party? Because he couldn't find a date.
  14. Why couldn't the England football team visit Santa at The North Pole? They couldn't get past Iceland.
  15. What does Father Christmas suffer from when he climbs up a chimney? Claustrophobia.
  16. What do you call a train carrying a cargo of toffee? A chew chew train.
  17. What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Short!
  18. Name Santa's favorite singer? Elf-is Presley!
  19. What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel.
  20. What type of car is the same frontwards and backwards? A racecar!
  21. Why are Christmas trees so poor at sewing? They are always dropping their needles!
  22. Why wasn't the elf allowed to stand on a step ladder to decorate the Christmas tree? Because of Elf and Safety.
  23. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

And finally, why did no-one make a bid for Dancer and Prancer on eBay? Yep, you've guessed it, because they were two deer!

Ah! Ah! That's it for the cracker jokes I'm glad to say. However, sticking with Dancer and Prancer, 'can you actually name all of Santa's reindeers?'

The commonly cited names of the reindeer that pull the sleigh of Santa Claus and help him deliver Christmas presents are Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen. These names are from the 1823 poem A Visit from St. Nicholas (also called The Night Before Christmas).

Ready for another Christmas Quiz?

> Christmas Trivia
> Quiz of the Year

Thank you for printing these Christmas questions. Please do not forget to come back to for more great quiz questions and answers.