Missing Joke Quiz
Jokes from Peter Kay, Tommy Cooper, and the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. Can you fill in the *MISSING* word from each joke? A bit of fun.
Quiz
- I like to imagine the guy who invented the *MISSING* was going to call it the ‘brella’. But he hesitated.
- If quizzes are quizzical, what are *MISSING*?
- Combine Harvesters. And you’ll have a really big *MISSING*.
- Mate of mine has just been sacked off the dodgems. But he’s doing them for *MISSING* dismissal...
- I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn’t get *MISSING*.
- I sent a food parcel to my first wife by *MISSING*.
- So a lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, I thought, ‘That’s a *MISSING* disaster.
- Apparently one in three Britons are conceived in an *MISSING* bed which is mad because those places are really well lit.
- My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him ‘Don’t be *MISSING*’.
- As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are *MISSING*.
- For years I thought the club’s name was Partick Thistle *MISSING*.
- You know you’re working class when your *MISSING* is bigger than your bookcase.
- Toilets are good at poker. They usually get a *MISSING*.
- What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big *MISSING*.
- Why are crabs so bad at sharing? Because they’re all *MISSING*.
- A book fell on my head the other day. I only have my *MISSING* to blame though.
- When life gives you melons, you might be *MISSING*.
- Just got fired from my job as a set designer. I left without making a *MISSING*.
- One of the cows didn’t produce milk today. It was an udder *MISSING*.
- Four fonts walk into a bar. The bartender says, ‘Hey! We don’t want your *MISSING* in here!’
- Two wifi engineers got married. The *MISSING* was fantastic.
- I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an *MISSING*. I thought: ‘This could be interesting.'
Answers
- UMBRELLA - I like to imagine the guy who invented the *MISSING* was going to call it the ‘brella’. But he hesitated.
- TESTS - If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
- RESTAURANT - Combine Harvesters. And you’ll have a really big restaurant.
- FUNFAIR - Mate of mine has just been sacked off the dodgems. But he’s doing them for funfair dismissal...
- PASTA - I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn’t get pasta.
- FedEx - I sent a food parcel to my first wife by FedEx.
- TURTLE - So a lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, I thought, ‘That’s a turtle disaster.
- IKEA - Apparently one in three Britons are conceived in an IKEA bed which is mad because those places are really well lit.
- SICILY - My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him ‘Don’t be Sicily’.
- GROCER - I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer.
- NIL - For years I thought the club’s name was Partick Thistle Nil.
- TV - You know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your bookcase.
- FLUSH - Toilets are good at poker. They usually get a flush.
- PLUS - What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
- SHELLFISH - Why are crabs so bad at sharing? Because they’re all shellfish.
- SHELF - A book fell on my head the other day. I only have my shelf to blame though.
- DYSLEXIC - When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
- SCENE - Just got fired from my job as a set designer. I left without making a scene.
- UDDER - One of the cows didn’t produce milk today. It was an udder failure.
- TYPE - Four fonts walk into a bar. The bartender says, ‘Hey! We don’t want your type in here!’
- RECEPTION - Two wifi engineers got married. The reception was fantastic.
- EGG - I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: ‘This could be interesting.'